Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
