He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
