According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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