i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
