we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
