Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
