Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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