K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
