Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
