If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
