let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
