You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
