Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
