there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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