New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
