Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
