if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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