Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We talked him into tasing himself.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
