no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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