I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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