If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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