can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
