dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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