hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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