Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
