I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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