better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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