my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
