if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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