..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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