What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
