i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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