I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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