the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
