And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
