none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
