I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
