What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
