So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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