so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
