fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's never too late to be topless.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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