And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
