i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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