i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
