I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
