You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
