you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
