I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
