I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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