I think my fart just growled at me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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