He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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