what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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