i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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