He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
